In love with my Fathers..:)

yest nite as i was lying in bed waiting to fall aslp, i was thinkg of my daddy..how time flies manz!so fast i'm 21 n he's gonna b 60 in a few yrs time..it's quite frightening how time flies wout u knowing it..

sorta teared alil as i thot of him..dunno y everytime i think of my daddy tears'l juz automatically well up in my eyes..haha..haf heard of "????" but not "??"..yea..mayb hor..but sumtimes i wonder do i love my daddy or mummy more?i guess i love them the same..juz in different aspects..i respect daddy alot!since young he has been my role model..lotsa things n decisions i mk r influenced by him..i've always aspired to b as zai as him..1 of my regrets perhaps was the decision not to enter rgs n go on to rjc..but i guess if i did, i wld not b me anymore..my life experiences wld haf changed..so i cant entirely say it is a regret either..it's juz tt fr young, i've always wanted to b lyk him, a true blue rafflesian..in the rugby team, house captain etc..

perhaps my strong pride n perfectionist character was moulded because of this aspiration to b lyk my daddy..so whenever i think of myself, i'l ask myself if i can become lyk him..there's still lotsa rm for improvement..but i really hope i can mk it in life cos i wan to c him proud of me..nth beats the pride i c in his eyes when i do well:)i noe he always says it's my own life, i can live it in wateva way i wan..but i noe tt he always wans the best for me n because of tt he has sacrificed alot..

heh..was thinkg of wat present to get him..n tim gave me a rather gd idea..i dun think he needs any material things fr me cos he definitely has far more ability than me to buy wateva he wans..aft exams i shall write a long letter to him..expressing my heartfelt thots..haha..but i bet every line wld b tear-smudged cos cfm will cry..even now as i blog, tears juz keep flowing..haha..but it's nth bad lah..juz tears of love n ??..

but y i'm writing this entry is not cos of the above..but cos while i was thinkg of my daddy n tryin to suppress my tears, it struck me abt my love for God..i love my daddy so much so tt i shed tears when i think of him..yet i dun do tt for my Father in Heaven..i was alil ashamed cos it's my Father up there hu has provided me w everythg i haf on earth..so as i laid in bed, i prayed..i prayed tt i cld develop a love for HIM so deep tt everytime i think o HIM, i'l tear..not cos i'm sad, but cos i truly love HIM w all my heart, soul n mind..when i think of my daddy's sacrificing love for the family n me, i shd also think of God's unfailing love for me..

heh..ppl may think i'm mad to compare an intangible father who has not given me anythg physically or rt in my face w my daddy who has showered me w love fr the time i was born..but sumhow as i teared for my daddy, it juz struck me how shallow my love for God is..how can i say i love HIM when i seem to love the world more?it's a difficult decision..one story in e bible which impacted me was the story where Jesus told the man , "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." (Matt 8:22) when he wanted to bury his father..it juz shows tt if we wanna follow Jesus, we've gotta b prepared to give up our worldly lives..including our families if there is a must!but am i really prepared to do such a thing?mayb by my own i wun haf the courage..but if i were sent on missions overseas w my other half, i think i wld try..w alot of praying of cos..cos it really tks alot of courage..

Prayer Point: Lord, i juz pray tt juz lyk how i love my earthly father, i'l learn to love u more n more..i dowan to juz say i love u Abba Father..but i wanna put it into action too..it takes alot..mayb even sacrifices along the way..but Lord i juz pray tt U'll grant me the courage to step out in faith out of my comfort zone n trust tt u'll provide:) I thank u for UR providence so far in my life..i noe tt these were by ur hand, not by the world..everythg in life is in ur plans..there r ups n downs but thru it all i noe u haf nvr forsaken me n i thank u for seeing me thru to where i am now..In Jesus most precious name i pray, Amen..